Produced by David Widger
SHIP'S COMPANY
By W.W. Jacobs
THE OLD MAN OF THE SEA
"What I want you to do," said Mr. George Wright, as he leaned towards theold sailor, "is to be an uncle to me."
"Aye, aye," said the mystified Mr. Kemp, pausing with a mug of beermidway to his lips.
"A rich uncle," continued the young man, lowering his voice to preventany keen ears in the next bar from acquiring useless knowledge. "Anuncle from New Zealand, who is going to leave me all 'is money."
"Where's it coming from?" demanded Mr. Kemp, with a little excitement.
"It ain't coming," was the reply. "You've only got to say you've got it.Fact of the matter is, I've got my eye on a young lady; there's anotherchap after 'er too, and if she thought I'd got a rich uncle it might makeall the difference. She knows I 'ad an uncle that went to New Zealandand was never heard of since. That's what made me think of it."
Mr. Kemp drank his beer in thoughtful silence. "How can I be a richuncle without any brass?" he inquired at length.
"I should 'ave to lend you some--a little," said Mr. Wright.
"What I want you to do," said Mr. George Wright, "is tobe an uncle to me."]
The old man pondered. "I've had money lent me before," he said,candidly, "but I can't call to mind ever paying it back. I always meantto, but that's as far as it got."
"It don't matter," said the other. "It'll only be for a little while,and then you'll 'ave a letter calling you back to New Zealand. See? Andyou'll go back, promising to come home in a year's time, after you'vewound up your business, and leave us all your money. See?"
Mr. Kemp scratched the back of his neck. "But she's sure to find it outin time," he objected.
"P'r'aps," said Mr. Wright. "And p'r'aps not. There'll be plenty oftime for me to get married before she does, and you could write back andsay you had got married yourself, or given your money to a hospital."
He ordered some more beer for Mr. Kemp, and in a low voice gave him asmuch of the family history as he considered necessary.
"I've only known you for about ten days," he concluded, "but I'd soonertrust you than people I've known for years."
"I took a fancy to you the moment I set eyes on you," rejoined Mr. Kemp."You're the living image of a young fellow that lent me five pounds once,and was drowned afore my eyes the week after. He 'ad a bit of a squint,and I s'pose that's how he came to fall overboard."
He emptied his mug, and then, accompanied by Mr. Wright, fetched his sea-chest from the boarding-house where he was staying, and took it to theyoung man's lodgings. Fortunately for the latter's pocket the chestcontained a good best suit and boots, and the only expenses incurred werefor a large, soft felt hat and a gilded watch and chain. Dressed in hisbest, with a bulging pocket-book in his breast-pocket, he set out withMr. Wright on the following evening to make his first call.
Mr. Wright, who was also in his best clothes, led the way to a smalltobacconist's in a side street off the Mile End Road, and, raising hishat with some ceremony, shook hands with a good-looking young woman whostood behind the counter: Mr. Kemp, adopting an air of scornful dignityintended to indicate the possession of great wealth, waited.
"This is my uncle," said Mr. Wright, speaking rapidly, "from New Zealand,the one I spoke to you about. He turned up last night, and you mighthave knocked me down with a feather. The last person in the world Iexpected to see."
Mr. Kemp, in a good rolling voice, said, "Good evening, miss; I hope youare well," and, subsiding into a chair, asked for a cigar. His surprisewhen he found that the best cigar they stocked only cost sixpence almostassumed the dimensions of a grievance.
"It'll do to go on with," he said, smelling it suspiciously. "Have yougot change for a fifty-pound note?"
Miss Bradshaw, concealing her surprise by an effort, said that she wouldsee, and was scanning the contents of a drawer, when Mr. Kemp in somehaste discovered a few odd sovereigns in his waistcoat-pocket. Fiveminutes later he was sitting in the little room behind the shop, holdingforth to an admiring audience.
"So far as I know," he said, in reply to a question of Mrs. Bradshaw's,"George is the only relation I've got. Him and me are quite alone, and Ican tell you I was glad to find him."
Mrs. Bradshaw sighed. "It's a pity you are so far apart," she said.
"It's not for long," said Mr. Kemp. "I'm just going back for about ayear to wind up things out there, and then I'm coming back to leave myold bones over here. George has very kindly offered to let me live withhim."
"He won't suffer for it, I'll be bound," said Mrs. Bradshaw, archly.
"So far as money goes he won't," said the old man. "Not that that wouldmake any difference to George."
"It would be the same to me if you hadn't got a farthing," said Mr.Wright, promptly.
"It'll do to go on with," he said]
Mr. Kemp, somewhat affected, shook hands with him, and leaning back inthe most comfortable chair in the room, described his life and strugglesin New Zealand. Hard work, teetotalism, and the simple life combinedappeared to be responsible for a fortune which he affected to be too oldto enjoy. Misunderstandings of a painful nature were avoided by a timelyadmission that under medical advice he was now taking a fair amount ofstimulant.
"'Ow much did you say you'd got in the bank?"]
"Mind," he said, as he walked home with the elated George, "it's yourgame, not mine, and it's sure to come a bit expensive. I can't be a richuncle without spending a bit. 'Ow much did you say you'd got in thebank?"
"We must be as careful as we can," said Mr. Wright, hastily. "One thingis they can't leave the shop to go out much. It's a very good littlebusiness, and it ought to be all right for me and Bella one of thesedays, eh?"
Mr. Kemp, prompted by a nudge in the ribs, assented. "It's wonderful howthey took it all in about me," he said; "but I feel certain in my ownmind that I ought to chuck some money about."
"Tell 'em of the money you have chucked about," said Mr. Wright. "It'lldo just as well, and come a good deal cheaper. And you had better goround alone to-morrow evening. It'll look better. Just go in foranother one of their sixpenny cigars."
Mr. Kemp obeyed, and the following evening, after sitting a little whilechatting in the shop, was invited into the parlour, where, mindful of Mr.Wright's instructions, he held his listeners enthralled by tales of pastexpenditure. A tip of fifty pounds to his bedroom steward coming overwas characterized by Mrs. Bradshaw as extravagant.
"Seems to be going all right," said Mr. Wright, as the old man made hisreport; "but be careful; don't go overdoing it."
Mr. Kemp nodded. "I can turn 'em round my little finger," he said."You'll have Bella all to yourself to-morrow evening."
Mr. Wright flushed. "How did you manage that?" he inquired. "It's thefirst time she has ever been out with me alone."
"She ain't coming out," said Mr. Kemp. "She's going to stay at home andmind the shop; it's the mother what's coming out. Going to spend theevening with me!"
Mr. Wright frowned. "What did you do that for?" he demanded, hotly.
"I didn't do it," said Mr. Kemp, equably; "they done it. The old ladysays that, just for once in her life, she wants to see how it feels tospend money like water."
"Money like water!" repeated the horrified Mr. Wright. "Money like--I'll 'money' her--I'll----"
"It don't matter to me," said Mr. Kemp. "I can have a headache or achill, or something of that sort, if you like. I don't want to go. It'sno pleasure to me."
"What will it cost?" demanded Mr. Wright, pacing up and down the room.
The rich uncle made a calculation. "She wants to go to a place calledthe Empire," he said,
slowly, "and have something for supper, and there'dbe cabs and things. I dessay it would cost a couple o' pounds, and itmight be more. But I'd just as soon ave' a chill--just."
Mr. Wright groaned, and after talking of Mrs.